I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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