Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Is Oprah even human
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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