also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
