I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize