My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize