And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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