..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
