i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
