I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
