ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize