I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
