no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
