I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
