My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
What changed your mind?
Being sober
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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