How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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