you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize