And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
