I bet he comes in French.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
