Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
