shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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