I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
