I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
