I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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