Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
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I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
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Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'm just crazy horny about you
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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