I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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