i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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