I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
