I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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