Have you finally orgasmed yet?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
