But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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