i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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