I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
It's rum buckets o'clock
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize