I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Please, let me fuck your mom
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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