Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
