If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I want to make a zoo with you.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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