I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
