Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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