No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
