i will never coherently bang her
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
