I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize