vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize