yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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