That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
