HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
