would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
