She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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