you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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