Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
it's like iHOP with fire
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
