Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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