Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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