Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
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i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
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She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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