I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
