i don't plan on having that self control this summer
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
