But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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