Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
