Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
